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Survivor Stories Consortium

In theory, it shouldn’t matter what anyone thinks. But in practice? If you need to make a living, your digital drama could cost you job offers and promotions, because recruiters and prospective employers do look at your personal social media. So control what your audience sees, and don’t put anything in public view that you don’t want your future boss to see. 

You don’t know what the future will hold and you can be committed to your relationship and also act in your own enlightened best interests. Honor your vows, hope for the best, work with whatever good is there, and seek the help of a professional counselor. But don’t be naive and surrender your financial power to a narcissist. Make a dual commitment to your “futureself” and stay open to however that will manifest.

Forgiveness doesn’t equal absolution. Forgiveness is for you and is about breaking the negative emotional chains that bind you to your ex-narcissist. Absolution is for the benefit of the wrongdoer and wipes the slate clean and its purpose is to pave the way for a fresh start. That is only deserved by those who are truly remorseful for the harm they’ve caused and a narcissist is not that person. The narcissist may be sorry they lost you but they’re not sorry for how they damaged you. They’re only sorry for themselves.

A forum user casually prefaced her post with the words “the autoimmune disorder I came down with since my relationship with my narcissist”.  She was considering going back, and mentions his love-bombing is a series of “poor me” texts. He is so lonely. He wants someone to love him. He needs someone to hold him. …

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